Joanna McCoy is Totally a Fangirl
by smallearthcat
Summary: While visiting the Enterprise, Joanna decides that Kirk and Spock should get together. Kirk/McCoy slash.


"And then I thought, you know who would be so totally hot together? Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock! I mean, come on, they're totally always making intense eye contact across the room, and you can so tell that they want each other. Ooh, ooh, I almost forgot! The other day I saw them whispering together in the corridor near the crew quarters, and then the captain grabbed Mr. Spock's elbow and dragged him off! Do you think maybe they like, went to his quarters to make out or something?"

Joanna McCoy seemed to grow steadily more excited as she talked, and Christine Chapel tried her best to hide the smile that wanted to cross her face. The girl had been on the ship with them for only a few days, and she'd already decided that she and Christine, in her words, 'could totally be BFFs'.

Christine had been quite amused by this pronouncement, but the truth was, it was kind of refreshing to have someone around who wasn't part of the crew. True, she was subjected to a lot of talk regarding slash fanfiction, Joanna's favorite hobby, but even that could be fun. Especially since Joanna had apparently decided to make the crew part of her slashy musings.

"Well, sweetie, I don't know about that. I mean, Mr. Spock is always so reserved; I'm not sure he would allow the captain to drag him off for something like that. And I'm sure the captain is much too professional to do that, anyway."

Of course, Christine knew that Jim Kirk would never be too professional for that. The number of times she'd walked into the sickbay to find he and Doctor McCoy together in various states of undress...well, it was a lot, to say the least. Still, she thought it would probably be better not to encourage that view of the captain.

"Oh, please. He so would. Dad's always saying he has absolutely no tact. And he was totally walking around with no shirt on yesterday. A guy who does that can't be _that_ wary of dragging someone to his room." Joanna's eyes sort of glazed over as she talked, and Christine didn't blame her; the captain did look quite good without a shirt on.

Christine was trying to formulate some sort of response that wouldn't completely dash Joanna's fantasy when Doctor McCoy suddenly spoke. "Maybe you can help them out."

Christine's eyes snapped over to him, and she saw a mischievous look on his face.

"What?" Joanna's eyes were trained on her dad, and she looked very intrigued.

"Well, if you want them to get together, you could help them out. You know, get them alone together or something."

"Oh...yeah! And I could totally like, tell them nice things about each other and say that the other one said them. I'm so gonna go do that right now. Thanks, Dad!" Joanna gave him a quick hug and ran off.

Christine and McCoy burst into laughter at the same time, and by the time they finally calmed down, Christine had tears running down her cheeks and McCoy was doubled over and clutching his side.

"You know, that really wasn't very nice of you, Doctor. What _will_ the captain think?"

McCoy smirked. "God, I don't know, but I can't wait to see the look on his face." Just then, Nurse Roberts walked in. "Nurse Roberts, Nurse Chapel and I are going to step out for a few minutes. Can you take over here until we get back?"

"Of course, Doctor."

At that, Christine and McCoy were out the door like a shot. Given that it was approximately dinner time, they headed straight for the mess. Sure enough, there was Joanna, sitting at a table with Kirk and Spock, prattling away happily while she ate. Kirk's face was red, and he was moving his food around absently while covertly looking for a route of escape. Spock displayed no more emotion than he ever did, but his eyebrow seemed like it was trying to make an escape from his forehead.

Christine and McCoy headed further in and got close enough just in time to hear Joanna say, "Oh look, there's my dad. I'll just leave you two _alone_ now." And then she gave Kirk a really obvious wink before hurrying over to them.

Both Kirk and Spock turned to look at them, and Kirk looked like he might be about to burst a blood vessel. Luckily, Joanna grabbed hold of both McCoy and Christine and led them out, because they were off on a fit of riotous laughter as soon as Kirk and Spock were out of their line of sight.

"What are you guys laughing at?"

"Nothing, sweetie, nothing. Just a joke your dad told me earlier."

Joanna looked a bit suspicious, but she didn't ask anything further about it. "Do you think it worked?"

They both tried to bit back their laughter, and McCoy finally managed an answer. "Oh, I bet it did. Jim looked awfully red; he was probably embarrassed at being found out."

"And Spock only raises his eyebrow when he's holding back emotion," Christine offered.

Joanna let out a high-pitched squeal and flapped her hands in the air. Then she was chattering again, this time about how cute of a couple Kirk and Spock would make, and Christine showed just the right amount of interest to keep her talking as they made their way back to sickbay.

A week later, Joanna was gone, back on Earth and with her mother. As soon as McCoy was back from dropping her off, Kirk hauled him off to his quarters. "You had something to do with all of that, didn't you?"

McCoy didn't even try to pretend he didn't know what Kirk was talking about, just had himself another good laugh. "Oh God, you should have seen yourself. For the past week, you've been totally avoiding Spock, and you looked like a tomato any time Joanna talked to you." He collapsed on Kirk's bed, another bout of laughter overtaking him.

"Hey, it's not funny! I'm completely scarred from her attempts to set me up with Spock. I'll never be able to look him in the eye again." Kirk stuck his lower lip out.

McCoy scoffed. "Of course you will. You'll completely forget about all of it within a week. And don't pout at me."

Kirk brought his lip back in and sat down next to McCoy, remaining silent and trying out a scowl. "How did you know I wouldn't go for Spock, anyway? I could have dumped you for him."

"Please, you'd no more go after Spock than I would. Besides, if you did, Uhura would have your balls on a platter."

Kirk paused to consider. "Okay, true enough. How come you didn't just tell Joanna we were together?"

"And ruin her adolescent dreams by making her think about _me_ with you? Not likely. She'll have completely forgotten about it in no time, anyway. She's kind of flighty about who she wants to imagine together. When she got here, she kept talking about two of the guys in some band she likes."

"But you will tell her sometime, right?"

"You want me to? Because that's akin to saying you're in it for the long run."

"Yeah, I want you to tell her."

McCoy nodded, not really sure when they'd crossed into more serious territory, but not really minding. "I'd be glad to, Jim. I'd be glad to."


End file.
